To the ex who’s stalking my blogs!

Well it’s been some time since I last posted so thought i’d update you guys on what’s the latest with me!

I can say I’ve had some fun and funny few weeks! I became a Master’s Graduate! I’ve screamed my heart out at Thorpe Park and Alton Towers! I travelled to Southport, Liverpool, Manchester and London! I have literally had the time of my life dancing and singing on the motorway!

To my ex, you think i’m here double dating? Good. You think i’m enjoying my time to the max? Good. You think my family is supporting your decision to divorce me? Good. I couldn’t care less.

The fact you have to stalk my page like a coward just speaks volumes. I mean I thought you wanted nothing to do with me? You was so quick to utter the words “divorce” when I caught you on Tinder and on TikTok chatting to other women. Please. My life has nothing to do with you anymore. Be a man.

Eventhough a narcissist like you deserves all the hate, I forgive you. I actually feel sorry for you because you can’t take accountability for your own actions. It’s sad. You have to lie your way through life for others to feel sorry for you and that’s just sad. You have to put that fake smile on your face, dance and flirt with other women but really and truely you’re miserable. You lost the best thing that ever happened to you and you’ll disagree with me right now but God works in mysterious ways.

I remember a time you said “Karma loves me” “When I fuck up, karma bites me in the ass” “If I ever hurt you what will I say to God?” “I’ve been to Islamic gatherings with my brother in law so I know not to hurt anyone’s daughter” well guess what sweetie, Karma works in ways no man can be ready for. I don’t wish bad on you, I want you to be happy with the miserable life you’ve created for yourself. Keep listening to songs and smoking that weed. Money can buy you happiness but not a clean soul and conscious.

But it’s all good though, I prefer to be the villain in our story. I was always the villain. If that’s what makes you happy and suits your stories then I accept.

P.S … I never claimed to be religious, but if I had to choose culture or Islam, I would choose Islam any day because it teaches me to have respect and morals, something you lacked. You disrespected me so much in our first 6 months of marriage, messed with my head and self-confidence because you weren’t happy with my body or my rights as a woman. You then expected me to be this person who still kissed your feet and respected you? Nah.

You fucked up your own marriage. YES YOU & I can’t blame anyone but YOU for doing that. You weren’t ready to be a husband or a man and I blame that on your parents. If only your parents taught you how to treat women, but unfortunately they didn’t. Women in your family apparently don’t deserve the respect.

Anyways, good luck to you and your pal who’s so interested in my life because you both need it.

Written by Larayb aka Layla ✌🏼

Low Self-Esteem and 10 Tips To Overcome It

Low self-esteem… We all have those days where we feel inadequate. Your confidence might have taken a knock, but you’ll soon bounce back. However, if you have a constant feeling of not being enough, a lack of self-belief and feel like you are not worthy of good things, you may be suffering from chronic low self-esteem. These types of thoughts can have a massive impact on your mental health and cause a negative thought pattern that can be difficult to break. It’s important to take action to break this mindset so please keep on reading!

After my divorce, I suffered with chronically low self-esteem. The self-critical thoughts of feeling inadequate and unlovable have led me to some pretty dark places. If you are feeling like this you are not alone. But it is important to take action and improve yourself.

Here are some tips for overcoming low self-esteem and realising your own self-worth!

girl doing her facial skin care
Creating a self-care routine can boost your self-worth!

Self-Care

Sometimes when our self-esteem is rock bottom, we neglect ourselves. You may not feel like washing your hair, doing your makeup or even getting out of bed. Something I’ve been forcing myself to do each day is my skin care routine. Those 10 minutes each morning and night are just a little bit of self-love I dedicate to myself, even if that’s all I achieve that day. Sometimes putting the smallest bit of effort into your appearance can boost your low self-esteem.

Goal-setting

Your low self-esteem might be worse if you are stuck in a rut. Setting some goals for the future and working towards them is also an act of self-love. What do you actually want for your future? How are you going to get there? Low self-esteem is magnified when you are not doing the things that make you happy. Living a life that does not serve you is a sure way to feel insignificant and have low self-esteem. Take small steps towards these goals every day and when you do achieve them, your self confidence will be boosted. But do not get bogged down when you don’t reach them immediately.

Give Yourself a Pat on the Back

Remember all of the things you have already achieved. You may feel like you have nothing to be proud of but you absolutely do. Look at where you are and how you got here. Write down everything you are proud of. Graduated college? Leaving a toxic relationship? Give yourself a pat on the back and remember you’ve done plenty of great things already and will do plenty more. When your self-esteem is low it is easy to forget all of the wonderful things you have already achieved. Be proud of yourself!

Remember Everyone Has Flaws

crop plump woman touching abdomen
Stop focusing on your “flaws.” Everyone has them and nobody is looking at yours!

You’re not the only one who feels this way. Everyone has things they wish they could change about themselves and we just don’t realise. Even the most confident person in the room has insecurities, and days of low self-esteem, it’s normal. The difference is, they don’t focus on them so much. And that’s what you need to learn too to improve your low self-esteem.

Remind Yourself of Your Assets

You might feel like you don’t have any assets but I assure you do. Stand in front of the mirror and focus on the things you do like! It will be difficult to train your mind not to focus on your “flaws.” But do it anyway. Dimples, freckles, big boobs, small boobs, thick eyebrows, curly hair. Whatever you have, I can guarantee there are people who would kill to have what you do. Be kind to yourself for a change and see how much your life improves.

Stop People Pleasing

People with low self-esteem have a tendency to people please. They have a hard time setting boundaries and saying no. Because our minds are tricking us into believing our opinion is not important and people won’t value it. It is important… Start saying no to things that don’t serve you and watch your confidence grow. It is scary at first but setting boundaries is a true act of self-love. The more that you say what you mean, the higher your self-esteem will get.

Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

Either do something or don’t. Don’t sit on the fence about things. It is better to go all in and fail, than worry about what might happen, so you never try. Challenging yourself is a great way to boost your self-esteem. Don’t worry if anyone else likes it, or what anyone else thinks. What do you think? Are you doing what is good for you? Then stop second guessing yourself and go for it.

Move Your Body

black and silver headphones beside red and black headphones
Start chasing those endorphins to raise your self-esteem

We already know how good exercise is for our physical health. But let’s not forget the benefits it has on our mental health. A brisk walk outside can get the endorphins flowing enough to dig you out of that negative mindset. And the more you move your body, the more addictive those endorphins are!

Let Go of the Past

Whatever the reason for your low self-esteem, you have to learn to let go of the past. Maybe you’ve been bullied in the past, or you didn’t feel loved in your last relationship. Whatever the reason is, you cannot learn to love yourself by holding onto the things that made you feel low in the past. What other people think of you is not your problem. And what YOU think of YOU is just about changing your mindset and battling your low self-esteem.

Stop Judging Others

If you are the type of person who judges others, it’s time to quit that bad habit. And no wonder your self-esteem is so low! If you constantly look at the negative in others, your inner dialogue will be awful too. What kind of things do you think about yourself, if you only see the bad in other people. And you probably believe that other people think like you too. Being judgmental is only harming yourself in the long run, so whenever you think bitchy thoughts about others, force yourself to think something positive. Start complimenting people, change your thoughts to positive and your low self-esteem will start to improve!

Written by Jade