To the ex who’s stalking my blogs!

Well it’s been some time since I last posted so thought i’d update you guys on what’s the latest with me!

I can say I’ve had some fun and funny few weeks! I became a Master’s Graduate! I’ve screamed my heart out at Thorpe Park and Alton Towers! I travelled to Southport, Liverpool, Manchester and London! I have literally had the time of my life dancing and singing on the motorway!

To my ex, you think i’m here double dating? Good. You think i’m enjoying my time to the max? Good. You think my family is supporting your decision to divorce me? Good. I couldn’t care less.

The fact you have to stalk my page like a coward just speaks volumes. I mean I thought you wanted nothing to do with me? You was so quick to utter the words “divorce” when I caught you on Tinder and on TikTok chatting to other women. Please. My life has nothing to do with you anymore. Be a man.

Eventhough a narcissist like you deserves all the hate, I forgive you. I actually feel sorry for you because you can’t take accountability for your own actions. It’s sad. You have to lie your way through life for others to feel sorry for you and that’s just sad. You have to put that fake smile on your face, dance and flirt with other women but really and truely you’re miserable. You lost the best thing that ever happened to you and you’ll disagree with me right now but God works in mysterious ways.

I remember a time you said “Karma loves me” “When I fuck up, karma bites me in the ass” “If I ever hurt you what will I say to God?” “I’ve been to Islamic gatherings with my brother in law so I know not to hurt anyone’s daughter” well guess what sweetie, Karma works in ways no man can be ready for. I don’t wish bad on you, I want you to be happy with the miserable life you’ve created for yourself. Keep listening to songs and smoking that weed. Money can buy you happiness but not a clean soul and conscious.

But it’s all good though, I prefer to be the villain in our story. I was always the villain. If that’s what makes you happy and suits your stories then I accept.

P.S … I never claimed to be religious, but if I had to choose culture or Islam, I would choose Islam any day because it teaches me to have respect and morals, something you lacked. You disrespected me so much in our first 6 months of marriage, messed with my head and self-confidence because you weren’t happy with my body or my rights as a woman. You then expected me to be this person who still kissed your feet and respected you? Nah.

You fucked up your own marriage. YES YOU & I can’t blame anyone but YOU for doing that. You weren’t ready to be a husband or a man and I blame that on your parents. If only your parents taught you how to treat women, but unfortunately they didn’t. Women in your family apparently don’t deserve the respect.

Anyways, good luck to you and your pal who’s so interested in my life because you both need it.

Written by Larayb aka Layla ✌🏼

Signs You’re Overthinking (And what to do about it)

Everyone worries about life from time to time. However, some of us (myself included) are chronic overthinkers who are plagued by a constant flow of negative thoughts that they can’t control. Overthinking is a form of anxiety and it can be debilitating.

Don’t know if you’re an overthinker? Keep on reading…

person in white shirt with brown wooden frame
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Here are some signs you’re overthinking

  1. You always think of the worst case scenario rather than the best
  2. You feel like you cannot switch your brain off
  3. Things that are out of your control make you anxious
  4. You plan excessively
  5. Living in the present moment feels impossible, you live in the past or the future
  6. You have difficulty sleeping because your mind is constantly racing.
  7. You think of your mistakes constantly.
  8. Repetitive thought pattern
  9. A hard time making even simple decisions
  10. You have a negative mindset and don’t focus on solutions, instead focus on problems.
  11. You can’t let go of the past
  12. Constantly seeking reassurance

Do any of these sound familiar? If the answer is yes, you are likely a chronic overthinker. So what can you do about it?

Change Your Mindset

The first thing you have to do is change your mindset. Overthinking is not useful, in fact, it’s a complete waste of time. Every time your mind is starting to race and you are focusing on the worst case scenario, you have to interrupt your thought pattern. “What if I lose my job?” can be changed to “What if I find a job that is more suited to me?” It’s difficult at first and it takes time but changing your negative thoughts to positive is the first place to start.

I truly believe that whatever you think, you become. Call it the law of attraction, but if your inner thoughts are negative, the outside will surely start to reflect that mindset. Changing your inner dialogue from “I am constantly stressed out” to “I am in control of my own life” is a powerful message. Try it and watch your life transform.

Focus on Solutions

Rather than focusing on the problems, you should start looking at solutions. By doing this, we are more likely to take action to resolve the so-called problem. If you are constantly focusing on the problem and overthinking it, you are not working hard to resolve it. Becoming a person who takes action is powerful and will help you regain control of your thoughts.

Distract Your Mind

Sometimes you have to just distract yourself from your own overthinking. This might mean phoning a pal for a catchup, or reading a news article on something completely different. Escaping your own thoughts through distraction is a great way to learn to eventually ignore them.

Stay Present

Rather than focus on what might happen in the future, try to be present. Overthinking can ruin your today… the saying goes “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift… that’s why it’s called the present.” Maybe it’s cheesy, but it is true. The past is already done and we don’t know what is ahead, so it’s time to focus on the day we have today and appreciate what you have now. This might mean unplugging from Social Media, stepping outside for some fresh air or enjoying a coffee with your friends. Be present and enjoy the moment you’re in.

Talk to a Professional

Overthinking is not the easiest thing to deal with and sometimes you can feel isolated. While everyone else looks like they are enjoying life, you’re stuck in this negative thought loop. It’s not fun! But you’re not alone. Talk to a professional if it’s becoming a burden. Therapy can teach you different tools for tackling chronic overthinking and change your mindset!

Written by Jade @talkthirtea